Newest Epiphany

Yesterday I had this epiphany that made everything so clear….my purpose in being here in this town…

Yesterday morning was a very tough day. I woke up grumpy, tired of the heat, sleepless nights, uncomfortable living conditions and on top of it all, we had to work through some cultural and communication issues within our group. It was amazing and God worked it all out for the better but this level of discomfort made me so much more sensitive to the happenings around me.

In particular I was reminded of a family we met here. They are immigrants in this country. The family consists of three children and there is no father figure. Instantly we have all made connections with them. They in essence define to me what its like for an average poor family who lives in this area. Their mother is a prostitute and the 17 year old daughter wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps. They truly are a beautiful family in every way. The teenage boy to me is most affected by the injustice that life has brought to this family. I have observed and had conversations with him and on the outside he is a respectful and easy-going kid but I have noticed an underlying anger and dangerous emotions boiling over in him and another side that I fear for him. He has become violent towards his mother as a result of his anger. In addition, the youngest is a sweet girl of approximately 10 years.

On a positive note Suzanne, one of our students here has been building a relationship with the 17 year old who is amazing and talented and is very open to Suzanne. Additionally, they are going to the church here that we are involved in and the congregation welcomes them with open arms and they are beginning to be fed but is an overwhelming task for such a small congregation and the pastors. The Pator desire training in working with these types of kids and families. The good thing is that the pastors are so supportive and compassionate and are committed to working against the traps that these families have become entangled in this area.

For me personally I was overwhelmed last night with this dire situation in this particular family. I particularly felt burdened for the boy in the family. Maybe I felt a little his struggle as the man/protector of his family and growing up without a father/male figure and yet feeling the full anger and resentment of the injustice in his life and also letting his anger out on his mother and how she doesn’t truly realize her value and how this affects her family and the shame he must feel for his family and also love for his mother.

After praying and truly walking through my sadness and hopelessness over this situation, I read this from Henry Nowen’s book called “Reaching Out.” This is where I feel God is speaking to me … “What is my new desert. The name of it is compassion. There is no wilderness so terrible, so beautiful, so arid and so fruitful as the wilderness of compassion… It is in the desert of compassion that the thirsty land turns into springs of water, that the poor possess all things… a compassionate man can no longer look at these manifestations of evil and death as disturbing interruptions of his life plan but rather has to confront them as an opportunity for the conversion of himself and his fellow human beings.”