Dispelling preconceived ideas....

Sitting in on Janna's teaching is a constant reminder of my purpose; why I am here in South Africa, not only my reason for being here, but also preparing to head to Australia for my next season of life. I am here, after thousands of miles of travel, loss of hours of sleep, 9 hours of time change, and adjustment to a new culture and set of responsibilities... Excited to participate. What makes me tear up even more than the opportunity to assist the trainers, is investing in the lives of so many. These Africans are so loving and beautiful. My friend told me before I arrived "make sure you get to experience TRUE Africa." I responded in doubt that I would get that opportunity as I would be in a training and conference center for the short two weeks I had come for. In addition, I had this perception of where I was going of being predominately affluent by African standards at large, which my bias dictates that this is not "true" Africa. Yet, I am so wrong.

The workshop of 31 from all over South Africa!!!!

We have had the privilege of investing in the lives of those living and working in, what we consider in our western world as barely tolerable as a lifestyle; yet these South Africans do it without complaint. They do it out of their passion for those who, as scripture says are the closest to God's heart and the weakest and most vulnerable in society.





Psalm 10:14
"But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
    you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
    you are the helper of the fatherless."

These care givers do what God has called us all to do and have sacrificed much and fought the systems here in Africa to do so. They come against lack of support from the government, education systems, and even more heart-breaking , their churches;  indeed the very system that they work for and under. The church here, but not limited to Africa, is the place where they often find most friction and lack of prioritization of care for the children and children's programs. You and I are fully aware that children are our future and are at the center of God's kingdom, the apple of His eye.

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Very little funds are given to such and one  women's testimony here was that as they raised funding running an event for their children's programs, the church leadership in turn took the majority of the funds raised and left a very small percentage for the children's ministry and programs.

True Mozambiquen talent!

These are the types of injustices they come against not including each child's own stories of brokenness and need. These individuals challenge me in so many ways and have told us again and again how key and valuable this training has been for them. Many have even shared how their perspective and focus has changed and they are energized to take back this training to others they work with and their churches and to implement change where they have the authority to do so, fighting for where they do not.  Many of these individuals (there are 31 total) are doing full time work and ministry with children who have been marginalized by society. The approximate number of kids the trainees minister to is


Here are a few quotes from the participants of the seminar below. They speak volumes more than I could say if I were to try to recap everything.

“I believe things can change.”

“I learned so much.  There is more to taking care of children than development, what God thinks, a Biblical perspective. “What God intends’ was so powerful.

In front of Nelson Mandela's home in Joburg

I came to get trained but I feel like I’ve been going through a retreat!.

If we can teach our children what we’ve learned here we will have presidents!  Those who will do things according to God’s ways.. 

God has no hands, but ours.
God has no ears, but ours.
God has no eyes, but ours.
God has no feet, but ours.”

Story of $70 million being given to AIDS in one province of South Africa.
$65 million went to research and people’s salary
5 million went to people to help them.
Still don’t know how it helped.

Even though I teach others these things, I learned so much!  Steven.

(It’s important) to give children the opportunity or the legal responsibility to talk or speak for themselves.

Impacting generations of African Care Givers

A recent conversation comes to my mind as I begin to attempt to bring a little clarity to my present and constant changing season. As many of you know I am currently in Portland assisting in the preparations to take a two week intense training course to caregivers in South Africa with a team from the Women and Children's Advocacy Centre.

As we were preparing to pray together before meeting as a team, one friend said something like this...

I was reminded and challenged by a man at church this week to whom I was sharing about what we will be doing in S. Africa. In his enthusiasm, he pointed out to me the implications and number of individuals who will be impacted and trained to improve and facilitate quality care for children in this country within these weeks.

I, personally, was challenged and humbled to be reminded by an outsider just how important and vital this training is. We have been given the opportunity to train 37 advocates from various regions of S. Africa who have been chosen as advocates from various children's homes, ministries and churches where they work as caregivers. They will then in turn train others and pass the training tools, ideally and prayerfully, to generations of care givers to come. They have a vital role in the lives of the children as well as we do in getting the help and tools that they need as workers already working hands on in the field with children in need. The numbers that could be impacted are high and I feel privileged to participate, observe, and learn from these knowledgeable trainers whom I am joining in this endeavor. Really in many ways I am an idealist and can imagine the impact this 2 week training, and the training to follow later this year, will produce in South Africa. Even more so I know even more that nothing is impossible with God.

I am challenged to send out a support letter and will be doing so to follow, but I also would like to invite you all my viewers to join me on this journey and help me in any way God leads you. I have my plane ticket, but just found out that the cost to stay in South Africa will be above and beyond what I was aware of prior to arriving in Portland. Please feel free to write to me as you feel led to send me any encouragement, words or prayers. In addition, financial donations would be greatly appreciated and vital as I currently receive highly valued but minimal support. You can donate on this blog through PayPal, or make a tax-deductible gift through YWAM of which instructions are below under donate. If you have further questions, my email is
Resgateyrestauracion@gmail.com.

surrender... a word I find in my speech almost daily

"Jesus was forcing His disciples to trust Him. God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on.  This place of trust isn't a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we've been taught about proper planning. We like finding refuge in what we already have rather than than in what we hope God will provide. But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything. It means being willing to go without an extra tunic or a place to sleep at night, and sometimes without knowing where we are going."
 Francis Chan

The above quote from "Crazy Love" reminds me so much of how our life has nothing to do with us but all about God, an all consuming and powerful creator who gave us life and everything that we need to live our lives to the full.  Yet our life is but a breadth here on this earth. I am being challenged to live life not for myself or what I can get out of God or this world but how my life will glorify Him. I want to join Him in this adventure of life and not simply ask Him to come along side the destiny I set for myself.

I believe He has been teaching me these things in these past years of my life with purpose as I have come to that place more and more of learning to trust in Him with full abandon. Still, I have a long ways to go where I can fully lean on Him in moments of anxiety, insecurity and doubts of the present and the future. Needless to say this journey is a freeing one and thus as I embark upon my newest journey, I am reminded over and over again to lean on Him and to step out in faith, one step at a time, because He is guiding.

I may not see fully what He is doing or directing me to do. I don't have the complete picture yet. I do, however, have pieces of the puzzle. I will be honest and admit I am scared to take the next steps that He is guiding me down as they will take an act of faith. I have ideas about what the end of this year will look like, however, I know well they could change as has been my life's journey, in particular the last 3 years since I left to do full time missions.  Beyond these steps, I am learning to move forward in faith and absolute trust, much like the disciples must have experienced, and surrender my future to Him. Trusting that He has my steps ordered.

Mid March I will leave Kansas City once again to start a new journey. I will be going to Portland, Oregon for a month to learn more of what the Women and Children's Advocacy Center does and all aspects of its operation as a ministry. I have been trained and seen first hand their training workshops in Costa Rica. A team of us will then travel to S. Africa for a 2 week training in which a church there has invited the WCAC to train some of its members.  From S. Africa, I plan to travel to Australia, where I will stay for  some time with my good friends in Sunshine Coast while figuring out my next steps and traveling and networking with the contacts I have in Australia and then to other locations of Oceania.

He is doing a new thing!

Scene: Wendy's in downtown San Jose, Costa Rica with fend for yourself seating and others lurking to take your table as soon as you get up....

characters: my friend Christy and I, our almost weekly meeting up (after she takes two or three buses down from the mountains and I wait a long time to pick up a bus close to my apartment)

Christy:  "I have something for you." hefting her 30 pound backpack on the table

I smile and think to myself... Oh dear, now what kind of surprise does my spontaneous friend have for me? Out proceeds a rather large seashell... mind you we are not close to the beach, over several hours by car, so she had toted this shell with her over some what of a strenuous journey. 

Christy: "As I was cleaning/shining this shell God told me to give this to you."

Now I am the owner of a fine shell that has been transported back with me months later to my temporary home in Kansas City. She told me that in my next journey/season I was going to be like this seashell that rides the waves. I won't know where I am to go or my next step until I proceed and God will be guiding it every step of the way.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isa. 30:21

Of course this was just additional confirmation that He is guiding me but no direct answer or location. My other good friend Marcel and I commited to fasting and praying together for my next steps prior to me leaving Costa Rica. I was somewhat hesitant to return to KC without an idea of my next steps or specific direction. My friend received the same that I would not know my next steps until I arrived back in KC.

Its been a testing of my patience and faith to be home with so little "known." I have been anxious to figure it all out, but He has been so faithful in the midst of it all. I realized once I arrived home, how burntout I was and needed His refreshing and healing. Needless to say its been a difficult past three months but oh so good and a chance for me to learn to TRUST without fear and be healed and restored to a place where soon I will be ready to minister again. I needed to recenter and refocus on Him, my purpose for doing ministry and not the daunting need that exists.

I, as of this week, felt a "go" and a quickening in my pulse to begin taking steps out in faith; knock on those doors and test the waters. For many months now I have felt Him tell me to go where my heart leads me. Maybe to the majority of people that would seem like a huge relief; to me its just scary. Perhaps I am even scared to dream BIG, because honestly I have some crazy dreams.

I have felt for sometime my season in Latin America is over. I have longed to visit other parts of the world but felt that was just my adventurous and exploring side of me. I never thought that maybe it is truly a part of who I am and how God created me to embark upon and work with many nations and people groups. I also began to have this deep need within me to embrace a people group and place as my own and finally root. I know to those who know me well, that may be truly shocking. I have always been a free spirit, living simply with little to no earthly attachments.

So I had to ask myself what is it exactly that makes me tick and where, if I was given the choice to choose any location and ministry, what would that look like? I decided that the most recent tug on my heart was towards rooting somewhere yet would this take away from that innate side of me that still desires to invest in and travel to other parts of the world? How would those things meld together? Was I being crazy in thinking there was a way to do both? Would I be able to root somewhere and pioneer ministry and training on location while still taking and providing support and training abroad?

My answers seem to come through my dialect with friends/contacts with the Women and Children's Advocacy Center as well as those working as leaders in YWAM bases. I am dialoging with the possibility of pioneering and networking with my contacts in Australia/PNG/Samoa/Vanuatu and elsewhere; while still praying about the specific location in this part of the world to root. My ideas for now are to see how I can work with the WCAC (Women and Children's Advocacy Center) and YWAM bases in Oceania, this particular part of the world, and from there doing pioneering, investigation and networking while being available to take the celebrate children training (through the WCAC) to remote locations where people are already working with children and women at risk and just need more support, training and resources. I also want to be back on a base and a part of community life. So, I will most likely work to help as part time staff wherever I end up.

Details and specifics to follow.... still praying and working it out. Will be posting more regularly.

Discovering the Concept of Home

I've been thinking of late... wouldn't it be so nice to just simply click my heels and say there is "no place like home, there is no place like home" and suddenly, I am home. The question is, where is home exactly? This concept or word "home" what does that mean exactly? This is what I have been asking God, where is the place that He wants me to root? I have this innate desire to root; finally (just as I am to those who know me best, a free spirit) the idea of rooting somewhere used to be so binding and so restrictive now I just think how reassuring it would be to know where in the globe I am to establish myself next. I was so convinced I was called to remain in Latin America; I no longer feel I am tied to Latin America only. Many have spoken words over my life that  I am "called to the nations." So what does that look like exactly? A pretty crazy concept. I spoke with Janna recently about it. Janna is the founder/director of the Women and Children's Advocacy Center and she has attempted to help me discover what it is exactly that I want to do for my next steps. The ironic part of it all is that really I could go anywhere its not so much about location as what exactly I want to do once I get there.

I went last week to the prophetic room/ministry at IHOP (International House of Prayer) to get some direction and clarity. I did get some encouraging words that God is speaking but definitely not specifics or location. The funny thing is what was confirmed in this time was more of my giftings and strengths which is quite ironic as they saw such variety and diversity in my giftings and strengths; some I have known for a long time others that I have discovered only recently. Yet I left definitely more encouraged  but also more confused about exactly what or how these giftings will have place in the next location God calls me to. I feel strongly somehow all the little pieces of my life and the giftings will be used in my next location, which I sense will be long-term and where I can root and then go out and do shorter term work from there.

The other ironic thing about having spent time in the prayer room/IHOP is that I happened to walk out into the foyer for a second and while there I overheard some guys conversing and that one of the guys had a t-shirt with the slogan/words  "Sex + money" (for those of you who don't know, this is a particular project initiated by YWAM to document the sex trade and its impact on modern day slavery). The interesting part of it all is this was a reminder to me of some of the training and research that have played a huge role in my life in the past years in missions. The embodiment of this all while working to train volunteers in areas of justice with YWAM, getting training through Not for Sale in the areas of anti-trafficking, and now spending time at  IHOP.  I feel lately God has been stirring more and more a passsion for 24/7 intercession and worship in my heart just as pioneering; beginning any ministry and work comes about through a huge investment in prayer and years of asking and seeking God for wisdom and His hand to begin and direct in the initial stages and as the backbone throughout any ministry. Exactly how this all will meld, come into existence, I am yet clueless; I just sense God stirring my heart more and more to find out exactly how He is going to put all those pieces of my various interests, passions, training and experiences into practice or to at least, make a little sense of the random order of my journey.

This video below is put out by my friends doing a series of videos on Human Trafficking in Costa Rica:

Alrevez. [Backwards] from ofbrokenwings on Vimeo.

A Time for Everything...

Its 1:30 a.m. and I am up... really feel like I should stop and truly process. Would love to process with someone right now but sometimes its harder to explain verbally, so here goes my attempt.

I am back in the U.S. indefinitely after a 3 year stretch in Latin America. I am not sure how to feel or be. I had a nice re-entry welcome at 1 a.m. when my 3 new roomies, who just happen to be some of my closest friends and sister. We all went to bed far too late that night. When I woke up I felt sad to not be in a foreign country any longer or with people as my roomies had all gone to work. However, the rest of the day kept getting better and better. First of all, the weather here has been freakin' amazing.. ie. for October ... in the 80s, sunny and gorgeous with trees just now beginning to change color. This is the first time I have seen true Fall in 4 years. Autumn is my favorite season!  Then I get home and went to the Boiler Room where I proceeded to meet 2 individuals; one was in YWAM for 4 years in various countries and the other who has been working with children at risk in KC and is going to open a home for children in need in KC. Crazy, no matter where I turn, God won't let me go too far from my calling/passions.

Bringing liberty to the Captives

Hello all!

I wanted to share a bit of the theme of our base today... raising awareness and praying for victims of human trafficking. One of the students of our school lead an intercession time with the base, challenging us to move and act out on behalf of these victims globally. He shared that if each of us could share with at least 3 friends of ours, links that raise awareness to this area of injustice; asking them to do the same and share with three of their friends, then awareness is multiplied on a large scale. So I am writing this blog to do just that and ask others to join me.

Having done a 2 week training in 2010 with Not for Sale and having friends who have worked in this area to combat human trafficking, stirs my passion and my heart for what is happening globally. In some way, I feel God is going to use this training and my passion in my next season of life. I am excited to see just how He unfolds this and directs me in my next steps.

I also felt my personal conviction is once again to remember my new year's resolution to only purchase fair-trade chocolate and coffee. I have wavered in this commitment a bit over the past months, but I will admit it is hard in a country that sells little to no "fair-trade" products. Still, with your help, I want to be held accountable again and finish my commitment to the end of the year and then reassess after the end of 2011. Please join with me and keep me accountable as I know my purchases and conscience are being held accountable to the millions of slaves all over the world that are sold for my consumer benefit along with my fellow citizens of the world.

Dreaming.... birth of an ever-expanding vision

Remember when you were young and you dreamt of exploring and conquering the whole wide world; no limitations or boundaries... the earth was your backyard? I remember playing, as nerdy as this is, star wars with my friends and turning our whole basement into a city of tents and space ships where we could go forth into all unknown planets and space....

This analogy is in a way what I feel God is bringing to life once again for me personally and for this school. The words I heard Him speak for these students were about renewing their dreams from childhood; challenging them, all of us, to not only dream, but dream BIGGER. Many have since come to me to tell me that in these past weeks He has been not only reminding them of those past dreams, but reminding them how He has and is fulfilling and making those dreams a reality.  Not only are they seeing their dreams realized in their young adult years but now HE is giving them new visions and dreams greater and more radical than those from childhood. Who can truly upon looking back on their life as an adult or even on their death bed, recognize these often times, unrealistic or impossible dreams that have come to be in full fruition?

I personally am so privileged to have done so much in my short life thus far.... dreams of learning another language, ministering to street children, living in another country, living in Latin America, working as a missionary/volunteer, training, becoming a trainer, having a legal career, getting a degree, making friends/contacts all over the world, having explored many parts of the world, even on the other side of the world....  And yet there are so many new dreams God has been birthing in me since living abroad, but more so in these past months, i.e. recently.

I have mentioned the Women and Children's Advocacy Center in previous blogs. I will add the link to their ministry again. I have been feeling more and more in some form or fashion my next steps will be partnering with them in many ways. I don't know exactly how or what that will look like. As some of you are aware my commitment here in Costa Rica will end with the end of the lecture phase which is September 23rd. I have been processing and praying about my next steps. I do feel that my season/time in Costa Rica and probably in Latin America is coming to a close. I have thoroughly enjoyed learning and living here but my heart is stirring for other things, parts of the world, to pioneer new things and enter into a new season where I discover where my own ministry will be birthed. I have received words and challenges from others and in my seeking our Heavenly Father that I am called to the Nations; which in many ways is a new challenge and comes as a surprise to me. I always thought my calling and passions would be realized in being established in Latin America. Recently He has been stirring my heart for other places in the world. I am not sure where or how exactly that will come about.  Would you join me in praying for clear direction and provision in this?

The School is half way through and I will need to know my next steps in the next few weeks so I can book a ticket. I also will need to begin fundraising as going to another part of the world and establishing myself will take more funding than I have currently been able to raise.

Check out this video and just one of the projects the WCAC is involved in.... inspires me to go forth and change the world one step at a time... I pray it inspires you in the same way....

Women & Children's Advocacy Centre from wcacentre on Vimeo.

A Labor of Love

So... this expression has been playing over in my mind "you win some and you lose some"... its sort of how life works when you work with children at risk globally. It takes a liftetime of investment to individual children to make a long-term impact, but you know what? I am seeing the fruit of even shorter-term investment. This gives me hope.

Since being back in San Jose, Costa Rica, I am excited to be able to support my room mate here who began as my student, then friend, staff for the Children at Risk School(CRS) and finally leader of Metro ministries in Costa Rica. It has been a huge responsibility and undertaking but since I left to go to Mexico, the entire ministry was placed in her lap. Since, she has made this ministry her own and there is visible fruit to see from her labors already. Even more exciting to me, when I go and help her with the kid's ministry, I see her putting into practice what she has learned from the year she took the CRS and training and how God prepared her at this time to be a pioneer. She could never have imagined she would be running such a program on her own or how God worked it all out, but its a perfect fit for her. I enjoy seeing not only the kid's faces light up seeing the "Metro Kids" truck coming to their neighborhood but also Renate's face as she shares with the kids about God. To read more about her ministry, I have included the website on this blog. To me, this is the fruit of our training and school. At times I get discouraged asking myself how am I personally impacting these kids lives but in moments like these, are when God reminds me that the impact the students are having from the training they received is multiplied so many times over than what I can alone do. By disciplining, training and encouraging the students to dream big and to go forward in the vision God has given them utilizing their gifts, impacting, restoring and bringing His light to the broken children all over the world; it brings me joy and allows me to "stay the course," in essence.

Another exciting thing that I get to see is how the Freeman family has been able to pioneer work with children and youth at risk in a town in Costa Rica called Jaco. I have blogged about this area before where we as the 1st Children at Risk School did three months of outreach, researching the need and the resources and work that was already going on there. Jaco is known for "sex tourism" and it also has several migrant communities that live in impoverished conditions in the river areas of this town. Since this school's outreach, there has been another group of students continuing the pioneering work there as well as yet another couple of students from the CRS in Tijuana there right now. I can already see the impact and change that community has had just simply by people investing and networking and unifying the work that is already going on in the town. The Freeman family, with whom we pioneered the CRS, moved there about a year ago and have a heart and vision to see change in that community as they are commiting long term there. Several of the youth we worked with, have grown and changed. Some had considered doing a DTS in San Jose but unfortunately they ended up choosing their own path which seemed not to be the best choice for them. Yet, I trust in God that the seeds that were planted in their hearts from the Freemans and students loving on them, will ultimately bear fruit in their lives long-term. One boy in particular came this weekend to San Jose and seeing how he went from being a youth who had no value, to who he is today, allows me to see simply in his demeanor, the value put back into his life through knowing his value and worth in God. All the labor is well worth the effort. I remember when we used to ask him what he liked to do or was good at, as all the others boys surfed, played soccer, worked, etc. he said nothing and he really meant it. He just went to school to kill time and then would go play video games all day. He would walk around with his head hung low. Now he walks around with a lot of confidence in himself and knowing and recognizing God's presense and his value in God. He is a different teenager than I knew over a year ago and its because a few guys and girls took time to invest in him and help him see his value. This is why we do what we do! He now surfs and the funny thing is; just today he showed me his profile pic on FB of him surfing the waves, which prompted me to write this post. Please keep the Freeman family and team in your prayers as they are going forward working in a local preschool and also continuing to work with the youth in this town through surf and skate competitions and being open to simply forming relationships that are planting seeds in the lives of these often forgotten children and youth of Jaco.

Celebrating Children

The students begin their journey to Costa Rica

I stepped into a whole new paradigm of my little world this past week. Its funny I would not think of it as culture shock, but in ways it really is the definition of culture or reverse-culture shock. I am still in Latin America and in a warm climate culture and yet so very different. For those who don’t know, a team of three students from the CRS school in Tijuana, Mexico, and I embarked on our newest journey. For them, an entirely new experience, for me, my previous life. As I am processing in more detail, I realize this is the 1^st time since I moved from the U.S. to Costa Rica, 2 + years ago, that I am actually dwelling in Costa Rica, during this season of the year. It is a very different atmosphere here, the departure of the summer/dry season and introduction into the rainy/cooler season and yet its unique weather here in CR for this time of year, as I have been told. The rainy season has come early. This is a blessing to me in many ways as I discovered shortly before we left Tijuana that we will be a part of a 2 week training on issues of children at risk in Jaco, Costa Rica, my old familiar home for 3+ months in 2009 and get away off and on during 2010.

Hiking in Jaco 

Preparing the classroom with the Freeman boys

So, leaving the base in Tijuana was a sad event. It was like leaving my home and family behind. However the 2 weeks in Jaco was exactly what I needed. Just before I left for Jaco I felt overwhelmed, tired, burnt out and ready for a long vacation. I couldn’t imagine at the time doing yet another 2 weeks of intense training. Good thing God knows better than I, what I need. The training was intense and a very tight schedule with little time for beach or adventures. However, by the end of the 2 weeks, I was encouraged, renewed in vision for the upcoming Children at Risk school and my life , well rested and refreshed. I was able to spend some good time plugging into God and hanging out with a group of people, my friends who all came from Oregon to train and encourage the Freeman family as well as us in our next steps into ministry to children at risk. We were trained to become trainers who could take the “celebrating children” workshop anywhere in the world with the tools needed to encourage and build up individuals all over the world who are already working with children in need but don’t have all the tools we have readily accessible. The Women and Children’s Advocacy Centre  has taken this training to other parts of the world, last location was Rwanda. I was given tools and the ability to teach some of these topics and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing how God allowed me to recognize a hidden passion and gifting for creatively teaching. It was a really fun and rewarding time.

After a week of intense training... we all lost it!

I sense that I have been given new vision, excitement and tools to take this with me where ever God leads me next, and that I am not restricted year after year of up to a 9 month commitment in the Children at Risk schools.  I can commit to the next place He leads me to and make the training available to the community where I will minister to next in less than a 9 month long process. I anticipate being available to do hands on ministry, not restricted simply to solely training and running schools. I am excited for how this will play out in this upcoming school I will be leading and in the next steps God leads me in. Please continue to pay with me clear and direct next steps in leading the school that begin in July, 2011 and then after September, 2011.

A day at the beach with the team students and trainers

What an Amazing and yet Unexpected Year....

Representing our countries in Zona Norte

building relationships with the kids, my favorite part!

Pondering on the new season of my life that is approaching ever so quickly and ooking back on my year last year here in Mexico, makes me realize how blessed I have been. I never planned to stay more than 3 months; God had other plans. I feel its been one of the best years of my life to be quite honest. Full of research, pioneering, pouring into kid's lives, building long-lasting relationships and growing in so many different talents and abilities by being thrown into work and life here on this base. Life is never boring on a YWAM base. I have been able to assist in administrative work, hospitality, cooking, cleaning, ministry, tutoring children, assisting with hosting teams, building homes, running large events, translation, organizing and providing training for staff here who work with children at risk, and prepping for the school.

Craft Time!

Perhaps some of the most exciting things I got to do here was join in ministry as well as research and pioneer ministry here. Makes me wander if God is truly calling me to work and grow in other giftings and abilities that I never assumed I would be able to walk in, along side the talents or passions He already gave me. In missions, in many ways one is forced to be a pioneer. If you want to walk out in your passions, often you have to create the ministry or go find where the need is and how best to reach those in need. I was able to join others in ministry here on the base who pioneered work in a neighborhood here where land was alloted to poor families by the government, through helping to tutor the children. I never imagined I would want to or even be good at that, but I love it. I loved watching the kids grow to love learning and seeing them excel in an already over-burdened school system. I loved to see the hardened girls and boys in the jouvenile hall we visit, learn to love to sing and pray to God. I loved walking the streets of the red light district here, to get even the slightest idea of how much God's heart breaks for the individuals there. I enjoyed the discovery of how little it takes to brighten up a child's already burdened life by simply just taking a program of games, crafts and stories to them and by sharing God's love to them. I was blessed to invest in one of the  families here, being an emotional support to the mom while we took her to drug rehab, taking the kids to visit their mom,  and building a house for them and their grandmother. Wow! There have been so many moments that have filled this past year to overflow for me. So many great people and friends.... I will miss intensely. I love my students and I love the staff here. I also am blessed by the leaders on this base, their humility and surrendered lives to God and the way they lovingly guide us as their flock.

Baseball.... an upcoming phenomenom in Zona Norte

Perhaps my fondest memories... are with working with the children in the red light district. As we have been building relationships with them, we are moving past the "honeymoon" stage and getting to really know the kids and see how they react. Some are very hardened "street kids" who are displaying signs of so many behaviours and dysfunctions and those are the kind that I seek out the most and want God to allow me to touch their lives. They are the kind that are tough to love but oh so in NEED of God's love. Pray with me for them.

wait,  are we frozen????

Leviticus 19:33 We are all foreigners on this earth...

Team work!

needs a little improvement

We had our work cut out for us...

improving....

For those of you who don't know, with this past week came an unexpected adventure and nuance to our previously scheduled week. Due to speaker cancellation, a new plan birthed in the form of local outreach week. Going into the week, we (as staff) had only minimal information about the overall picture/plan for the week. I discovered that about 50 of us (staff and students for 2 schools) were headed off to Ensenada (about an hour south of TJ) for the week to work and live in a migrant camp. Of course, I was a little surprised and anxious about what all that entailed, but well, its the way things go in my life and I have learned to be more and more flexible and take things in stride. Looking back, I wouldn't change anything for the world. The week was such an amazing bonding and stretching time for us all.

and completed with space to sleep...

In part, we were all out of our element for 4 days: dirt floors as our bed, out houses as our bathroom, no showers, the great outdoors as our kitchen/living space, bucket water for dish clean up, etc. We dug 9+ foot holes for another outhouse. Our first project upon arrival was to clean out the rooms we would sleep in. It was not a fun task as the dirt floors were covered in trash and waste and smelled unpleasant. I am sure these rooms had not been cleaned out for a long time. By the time we had them cleaned, minus the bugs, spider webs and trash, and painted; they were transformed into liveable space.

Digging to Japan...

The ironic part of it all is that many families live in these tiny one-room houses with as many as 10 individuals. Its crazy but really a part of their lives, and to them its not a burden or uncomfortable. The people, families and kids were so amazing and hospitable. Its funny though this time I didn't get attached to the kids but more the women. I am still processing why but I think maybe its due to the fact that I wanted my students to have that experience with the kids, where I have had many times previously. Also maybe I have been closing my heart off to getting too attached to kids who come and go in my life only to leave after a short time. It could have been the fact that I was needed to bridge the language gap with the women.

These indigenous women and children... so beautiful them as well as their culture! and well.... they live simplistic lives but are happy and grateful for their lives even though their lives are burdened with hard work! I know my students as well as I got a little taste of the lives they lead as we worked hard all week digging 9+ feet holes for an outhouse, trenches for drainage paths, hygenic water holes for waste as well as filling in an area with dirt that had become a festering water pool with waste and trash. Yet they all did so with amazing attitudes and so much enthusiasm. It challenged me in how I approach life and work.

ummmhhh... can we keep them, pretty please?????

Creating a "clean" environment

good sport, Liz!

With the women, I don't know how much I have to offer to them, other than my friendship. I know nothing about being a mom or wife. One of the women was 15 and pregnant and she looked like she could have been 30, makes me wander how hard her life is.  Another shared about her life

Making a stove out of tin cans... principles of community development

growing up and how her parentes would wake her and her siblings up at 1 a.m. to work until the next day, physically and emotionally abusing them. All these individuals are migrants who come from other parts of Mexico looking for work and a better way of life. Often they work from sunup to sunset at least 6 days a week manual labor. Although to us, it may seem like such a tragic way of life, most were content to be in a place where they could at least earn a living, despite the hard labor and living conditions. It makes me wander how much more simple life could be....

taking steps forward in someone else's shoes or lack thereof

http://www.stepsofjustice.org/

my random thoughts on this day of shoelessness (yes, its my word invention)...

shoot, I forgot its "no shoes" day... but its rainy and cold... why can I not find (while searching frantically) the shoes I had decided to give?... instead submitting to the fact that I will give my flip-flops.... later realizing that actually giving my cheap flip-flops would be more of a sacrifice, more humbling as they are cheap shoes to give and that well, I  NEED those for the shower.... I mean after all they are my only summer shoes. ;-)

uggghhhh! ugly feet, soar and abused feet.... its not that bad, freeing, really then by late afternoon.. I WANT my shoes, I feel dirty, tired of getting up the nerve to walk through the rocks... why do we have to have rock beds? and awww... nice, soft dirt....

What is it like for others around the world who experience their lives with no shoes?  To be honest if it is part of your culture/lifestyle, it would be strange to be forced to wear shoes. I imagine one would walk around with calloused feet, yet I have been told its good for your feet, after all some of the fastest runners in the world... run shoeless. Sure, when its cold/muddy it protects us from the elements but if that is what your body is used to somehow it builds up immunities.

I guess in all this... yes, it is suffering to walk shoeless, against the elements or when the path is rugged, even possibly for health reasons.... worms, etc. It is good to lay aside things we take for granted on a regular basis and its makes me appreciate my comfy and carefree life as it is. I do appreciate what I have processed this day but more importantly I want to not just simply give of my possessions but of the best gifts that I possess; the ability to share out of the abundance and overflow of my relationship with the creator of the universe, who clothes the lilies of the field.

Finally... the students are here....

Our students arrived by planes, cars, trains and buses.... It was a crazy busy day and I was so thankful to those students who arrived early and were ready to help me find others arriving in different locations at the same time.  By the time we picked up the last student and crossed the border, they still had to settle in and get their bearings. This has been the somewhat chaotic introduction to this 1st week of school. Its been great. Our students are so amazing and excited to learn and then get their hands dirty in working with children in need. So far we are all adapting quite well. 

Their schedule is full and overwhelming, yet they are in good spirits. I myself have been learning to let go of some of the comforts I have been used to and really, spoiled by, since arriving in Tijuana. I now live in the trailers, which don't always have warm water and we didn't have heat when we 1st arrived. It is now winter in Tijuana and quite brutal without heat. All in all I am/we all are adjusting. Please continue to pray for us all as we enter into the school and truly allow our minds and hearts to be available to once again be broken in a million pieces only to be healed and given new and true hope that can only come from our Father. 

A Time to Build...

These past 2 weeks have been crazy busy and just now I have had a few days to sit and ponder and breathe again. I like times of rest but am discovering more and more how I really would rather just "be" with people even on my times off, which is a little bit of a switch as an introvert. I guess I am becoming a extroverted introvert ;-).

About 2 weeks ago I went to a global forum on Human Trafficking that Not for Sale hosted near Orange County, CA. It was a 3 day event. Very inspiring and moving. They showed us a just released documentary called the "Dark Side of Chocolate" I have shown this to several here so far and its moved me to be a more conscientious consumer. It was also a challenging time for me to see so many people I know who I did my "Investigator Academy" training with just at the beginning of this year, doing some awesome things in South Africa and also locally. I had to ask myself ... "what am I doing?". Of course we have done lots of raising awareness, research, and training but I am ready to get out there and get my hands dirty. I feel so anxious to begin work with the kids in the red light district here and now that things have calmed down a bit, we are praying and organizing what program we can offer. So far, we have had 2 others besides our school staff who want to go down and begin offering some sort of classes/workshops for the kids. Also, on a positive note, our base leader's wife came and told me that her mother's small group in Germany gave a donation to help out and she wanted to give that donation to us for the program and also that she wants to help us in any way she can. This women's group also prays on a constant basis so we will have prayer support. Its definitely an answer to prayer. So, please pray with us and that we get others excited to do the same and also to have wisdom as to what and how to approach the kids.

On another fun note, I have been on 2 house builds these past weeks and though this is ministry I have not been required to participate in, I enjoyed it so much. Its a new side of ministry I am realizing I love to do, which really is something I don't need to add to all the rest of the work I enjoy and participate in .... still, it was so much fun. The 1st build was a total God appointment as I didn't realize until I got to the build that the family we were building for was the one I was able to take the mother to drug rehab some months ago. The grandmother is raising the kids while the mother is getting better, but just being with them and knowing what they and the mother has gone through, touched my heart intensely. It was a very fun (I got to help put on a roof) and emotional build. I pray and know God will restore their family soon and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to participate in the restoration process, even the small amount I could.

The 2nd build was a lot of fun as well. I got to help build with a team from Minnesota. They were amazing and so giving and hard working. The team made me miss being home in the midwest. In addition I got to go to Ensenada to visit several families they had previously built for and to talk and update the team on the progress of the families by helping translate, etc. It was a huge blessing to me to see this side of our ministry and also to see how staff are following up with the families. These communities are being infused little by little with God's love and His divine call on the lives of individuals who are reaching out helping hands to lift them out of the poverty cycle.

things to ponder at all hours of the night...

ok, so these things have been on my mind lately... the victims and their stories... I feel very inspired to write tonight, which doesn't happen so often...

I often fall asleep or wake up at night trying to wrap my mind around these things.... like here I am, living a missionary life, full of abundance and blessing while the majority of the world suffers. Yet, back home people ask me how I can give up my blessed life to go elsewhere and give up my luxuries... yet, I live better than a large majority of the population that surrounds me ... and certainly have not suffered even 90 % of what others suffer daily worldwide....

These two stories....that have been on my mind lately, are what keeps me on my knees praying and asking what am I doing, what can I do, what can others.... you do....

The fact that this is sooo close to home, hits even harder... every week I cross one of the busiest border crossings in the U.S. One of our staff member's witnessed a guy trying to sell a 12 year old girl to another car while waiting in the traffic, leaving Mexico into the U.S. For more details...

http://www.stepsofjustice.org/2010/09/30/selling-sex-at-the-border

We are always aware that these things happen and watch for this kind of thing, but when we actually see it up close, its too much of a reality to take in. Just last week we witnessed a drug or trafficking bust just cars from us.... I am glad there are officials doing something, yet there is so much more getting through and in the border, not just hundreds, but thousands of similar cases. How does this happen.... why and what is our hand/responsibility in these horrendous acts of injustice?

Of course at first reading this story, my initial reaction is yeah, the trafficker got busted/arrested. Its a victory, a true Hollywood ending.. the bad guy gets locked up. However, we all know that does not end the story. My mind keeps going back to what happens to this little 12 year old girl, precious and made in the image of God to live a life of blessing and full knowledge of her value and worth in God and growing to be a beautiful and whole woman who radiates the image of God in all that she does. So, this time, the little girl gets saved from being sold to this particular man. I can't help to question.... how did she get taken and how did her innocent childhood go so wrong? Has she been sold before? Some get put into the sex trade as young as 6 years of age. Will she be destined to run back to the streets? Can she find her way home? Does she have a home to go to and if she does, are those family/home members the ones selling her? Does anyone care about her? Does anyone see her? Does anyone want to protect her? I know her heavenly father does and He will move on her behalf. Perhaps he allowed our friend/staff to see this in order for many to pray for her to be released from her situation. To me, she is lost forever in the system and why didn't the authorities take her and try to help her? Are we so concentrated on getting the bad guys that we are not paying attention to the victims? This little girl breaks my heart, that amongst so many other similar stories that go on everyday right under our noses... really in my neighborhood, but not just here in Mexico, in our neighborhoods in the suburbs and cities in the U.S.

Another story I feel compelled to share about is about a family of 3 kids we have been working with here in a poor colonia or neighborhood of Tijuana. They are approximately 5, 4, and 3 in ages. They are sooo cute. I have read the major signs of children at risk as I have interacted with them during our tutoring sessions as well as events we host with the kids. The middle one in particular I have had to work with regarding boundaries, i.e. with other kids, he is very violent and aggressive i.e. for a 4 year old. There was a time he wasn't fond of me as I sat with him, held him and discussed with him the wrong in hitting other kids; now he always gives me a hug and runs to see me each time I go there. This week he came up to me and asked me with a sad, long face when we were coming back and I responded to him... Raymundo, we always come on Thursdays, and to explain in terms a little child can understand "in a few days" we will come back. His little sad face as he turned to drag himself home broke my heart. It makes me ponder what goes on at home for those 3, often unkept children. I asked my friend, who teaches the kinder what she knew about them and she told me it seems that their mother works the streets and the father has never really wanted to take responsibility, in addition my friend thinks the mother is pregnant again and the grandparents are raising the three. This made me want to take them out of their situation and take them in as my own... of course that is/was my initial reaction. As much as I would love to protect them from their world; with my training and the wisdom God gives me, I know that is not always the best option for them. So, then what is my role? It breaks my heart that they have to continue in this life the way it is. What can we do to improve their situation? I know I can't do anything on my own. I don't necessarily have all the solutions, but wouldn't it be amazing and the most ideal situation if someone actually intervened and counseled/mentored the mother to know her value and worth and that she has options in this life and CAN become the mother that God created her to be, who she longs to be? Wouldn't it be amazing if the father would be counseled/discipled to become the man, provider, leader and protector for his family that God created him to be, and lastly that the grandparents get to simply enjoy being grandparents and not have to raise another generation of their children? More importantly than all this.... wouldn't it be ideal if these 3 beautiful children could grow up knowing a complete/whole and loving family who serve and know their creator and reflect the love He gives.... these are the things I ponder, sometimes in the early hours of the a.m. when I can't sleep... my thoughts

Never the perfect moment...

I have been inspired recently to write an update. I do wish that writing my personal thoughts and recounting what I am seeing and doing here in Tijuana, Mexico was much easier to formulate into words. Its weird posting my thoughts and limited writing skills here for the world to see, if they come across this blog. I am more than glad to share with those closest to me, who already read and love hearing from me, whether I write about hippos in the zoo or about my most intimate thoughts. So, I have decided in my mind, that my audience is simply YOU... those who really do love me and are anxious to hear about what I am seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing first hand, much of which YOU aren't able to experience personally due to responsibilities and circumstances at home. I will try my best to inspire you instead of bore you. And thank you for reading and more importantly, taking time to pray and support me and encourage me in what I feel God is leading me to partake in here in Tijuana, Mexico and in Latin America in general.

Ok, well, so what has been on my heart lately is street kids again. As most of you know, I felt a burden and passion to invest my time working with street kids since I was a teenager. I have had my experiences of working with street kids in both Brazil and Colombia. I miss those times greatly. Yet, God has led me to work in other areas as well with children at risk globally, making my focus much broader than I had anticipated. With God, you never know where you will go next. Its an exciting and adventurous, but sometimes stretching experience. I feel in many ways, although my focus with this year's Children at Risk School and also with my training in Dec. - Jan with Not for Sale, my focus has become more directed with trafficking victims; I feel God is tugging at my heart again to focus on street children, who are victims of trafficking themselves in most cases.

I feel I need to backtrack a little to explain a little of what we have been doing this past month, since I have written last. Amanda and I were privileged to host a Child Sexual Exploitation training at our base here in Tijuana, Mexico. About 20 staff from all 3 bases participated in the training. We felt a great desire and need to train our staff as we have recently been in contact with victims asking for our help, but without training, how can we assist them? It has been a great blessing and honor to meet Marissa Ugarte and Phil Gazley, both who have worked in the anti-trafficking movement for many years. They were able to give the training. I, as well as other staff members, feel better equipped to respond when we are faced with victims.

In addition to offering this training, we have been meeting with a guy in the red light district here in Tijuana who has been working with the children in this area for years. He is a truly genuine and humble man who lives out of his office, in order to make it financially. He works with people who want to come down to offer the children an alternative or something to better themselves and their lives. These children live and play on the streets during the day and most likely live in a rented room at night with their mother who works the streets. They are at high risk and every time we go down at night to pray over the streets and feed the homeless we see many kids out and about just roaming the streets. This scene breaks my heart even more than the heaviness I experience and see at almost every corner of the area.

Our base leader has agreed that some of us can begin going down and offering the kids some workshops; whether, dance, art, sports, etc. I just need to work out the logistics. So, please pray for me, us as I am looking for staff available to partner with me. Many are excited to go down, however, we are all very busy and I won't be around for much longer before I go home for my break. Starting this new area of ministry has been on my heart for the last few months, but it has been hard to find a good time to begin. Pray for connections with the kids. I am so excited, I feel like its been over a year, since I have worked with "street children" and can barely contain my energy take up the challenge to earn the children's trust. Street children are the hardest to reach and to earn their trust, but when they let you in; it feels rewarding beyond explanation. God is moving and stirring my heart, as well as others here. I will be coming up with the plan this week and then taking it hopefully to begin work by no later than next week.

Thanks for listening and your prayers. God is good!

Kids, stay clear of the traffick zone...

Wow! I checked my blog and realized I have not updated it since we arrived more than 2 months ago..... so crazy, how time flies by. So, as I sit down and write, pondering what I can say and what I can not about our work here and what would be interesting to my few but loyal readers.... I will attempt to write and see what may come.

Its been quite a journey and adventure in Latin Amercia these past few years as I am pondering on my life since leaving my home. God has been faithful to provide for my every need. I now have so many stories I hadn't previously about how God does miracles just when we need Him most. He has been meeting my expectations and dreams by providing me with great friends, surrounding me with amazing communities who care about what is on God's heart, giving me new opportunities to grow and utilize my individual giftings, giving me an outlet to express my passion for the lost and most needy, giving me amazing ministry to participate in and also pioneer, even more importantly I love how He has allowed my faith in Him to be tested and grown on so many new levels.

So, briefly I want to mention the ministry we have been participating in here. I am excited to announce a few new things. We began last week ministering to the young girls in prison. It was a huge blessing. We were certain they were going to be pretty tough to reach. Thanks to God and a lady who has already been going to the prison, they were open to us and to hear more about who God is to us and what He has done in our individual lives. I really want to see God free them from their circumstances and to offer them a new way of life/perspective that only He can provide. We also have been starting to lead "justice night" for the Mission Adventure teams that we have been and will be hosting at our base for the next month or so. Our first group was so touched and challenged me just how much this young generation can care about the injustice that goes on in the world and make a difference for hurting individuals. I felt privileged to be able to raise awareness and channel, I hope, some of their passion and energy.

We are also looking into the possibility of working with the street kids in Zona Norte, Red Light District here, with a guy who has asked us to offer some sort of workshop or sports program to teach and offer something to the kids, in place of wandering the dangerous streets here. We also are looking into work, even more directly with trafficking victims and their children through another outlet. In addition, we will continue to work with tutoring the kids in the colonia that the base works with directly and getting training and experience with the anti-trafficking coalition we are assisting with here in San Diego and Tijuana.

Well, that is my life summed up here, with one other exciting news... I felt God release me to stay here in Tijuana. I desire to continue to learn and get trained from our contact who has worked in anti-trafficking issues for a very long time. I also will be assisting Amanda with the new Children at Risk School they are pioneering here in Tijuana, Mexico in January 2011.

Life in the danger zone...

ok, peeps.... well... thought its about time to write an update. Its been a nice transition from the end of lecture phase and graduation to vacation and now the beginning of a new journey and place.

Tijuana is not as scary and crazy as everyone lets on. Certainly there are some shadey areas. Where we are staying is like a vacation destination. The base is under construction but has been in process for years. They have been able to raise enough money to build debt-free.... which is a huge blessing for them. The place is amazing; has the appearance of a resort. Of course, I don't live at the base but get to experience the amazing view of the ocean every day and even my apartment has an amazing view of the ocean from my rooftop/porch. Its been an amazing blessing so far....

We are just getting settled into our live here. Its been crazy busy getting adjusted and setting a schedule and beginning our work here. We have done some investigation work so far and learning a lot of spanish. I am excited how my spanish has progressed and am really ready to begin work in verbal translation. My team is also growing in their spanish skills. Pray for us all. We really desire to be able to communicate well with the locals and to be fluent on the tongue. God can do that. Also pray that God will continue to lead us as we are going to be doing some undercover work and entering into unknown territory to bring God's light to the darkness.

We will be also be going to the work with the kids in the colonias (poorer communities around here) and also youth in detention centers and those who come up to our base to do a youth program.

Well that is it for now... not too much exciting other than God is moving. My 2 students here are so amazing and I am so excited to see how God is moving in them and challenged by their relationship with God. They challenge me in my faith and I am inspired by their surrendered lives before God.

Fields of Mudan

Very inspired this week… we have a speaker, Ro Potter, who has worked in anti-trafficking for 7 years. She is a year younger than me. Inspires me how she has already given so much of her life to this area of injustice and how professional, aware and educated she is in this area. She has traveled to more than 40 countries speaking and helping individuals, communities and organizations to fight against global trafficking. I am excited for our lectures. We have about 30 people from the base taking her classes and even though I have heard much on Human Trafficking, I am learning something new each day that passes. I am getting more and more excited to get started on outreach and to figure out what God is leading me to do in the anti-trafficking work.

Tijuana, Mexico, where 3 of us are going for the outreach, is one of the largest areas for trafficking globally. The two students that are going are excited as well. Amanda is our student who has been working in Tijuana already and in the red light district, in jouvenile detention centers, with families in the slums and youth in general with the members of the YWAM base there. She decided to do this school because last year when she was working in one of the slums and with a particular family, she discovered that the father was a well-known drug dealer in the area and there was rumor that they were prostituting their 6 year old daughter perhaps for drugs, money, etc. Both of us are brainstorming and anxious to put our heads together to go figure out what we can do to impact and work in this area in Tijuana. The other student going on outreach Anthony, I am excited to see how God has been moving him throughout this school. He has had a difficult childhood and in many ways can relate to those suffering children even more than us and his heart is so broken over them before the Lord. He, even at 20, inspires me. So excited to see what God will do in these months to come.

Ro had us watch the movie "Fields of Mudan," an extremely powerful and moving films that haunted us all this a.m. and will undoubtedly continue to haunt us all the rest of our lives. The video is about young Chinese girls who are trafficked into prostitution in the U.S. The story centers around a young, beautiful girl, probably about 6. We all wept together after watching 20 minutes of this harrowing tale which unfortunately we can't write off as.... "the is not real life, it doesn't happen anymore, etc." truth is... it is happening everyday in our neighborhoods and surroundings and we just don't realize it... i.e. here in San Jose, Costa Rica. Amanda just couldn't get the idea out of her head... that this little girl in Tijuana she knows is possibly undergoing the same. I don't want to face any of this. I want to run and go back to my safe life in the US. Truth is I am moved and changed, just as we are all in our school and we can't ignore or run any longer because we have been shown God's breaking heart for the little ones and we must act. Just as Ro was saying the church in the past and presently has failed to act, so God has gone elsewhere to awaken others to do His work and to bring His Justice. How sad He must be that not only are sooo many of His beloved children suffering each day but that their own family, the body of Christ, is allowing them to suffer over and over again because of our own ignorance and selfishness. Sorry for the rant... to conclude:

Please pray for us as we will be entering in some crazy areas. As most of you know, Tijuana is one of the most dangerous places globally for the moment, due to the drug wars. We don’t want to shy away from the need or the areas that most won't enter into out of fear, areas full of people suffering and who are desperate to know the hope that we possess through Christ and our testimonies. Please pray with us as we enter the spiritual battle field and also the darkness that surrounds that area, believing full well that God will go before us and be our light and wisdom and guide and that we are able to see many people come to know the Hope that He has already called them to.